What are people saying about us?

As we have learned, being overly controlling lowers happiness. Then the question is what can we do to lower the need to control? Perhaps we can learn to look forward to the positive side of uncertainty.

Lean Into Uncertainty
One way to lean into uncertainty, instead of avoiding it, is to see how uncertainty can make life interesting, adding “zest” to our experiences. If you knew the ending to a good fiction book or movie, it would not be nearly as interesting. We are afraid that we will be less happy, if we don’t make sure things turn out as we would like. Yet, studies show some unexpected results about our feelings.

Not Having Certainty Can Lead to Greater Happiness
In one study, researchers told two groups of participants that they would get a free dollar. One group was asked to imagine that they would learn why they received the dollar, while the other group was asked to imagine that they wouldn’t be told the reason. Both groups then predicted how happy they would feel after receiving the dollar. Those who expected to know the reason said they would feel happier than the ones who did not know the reason. In fact, it was the reverse: those who didn’t learn the reason for the free dollar were happier. It turns out that what we think brings us pleasure, such as feeling in control is often opposite of what does. Why do we tend to avoid uncertainty? Uncertainty can enhance positive feelings when things turn out well, but it can also magnify negative feelings when things turn out badly.

Manage Your Time at Work and Allow Time for “Flow” Activities at Home
Of course, in order to appreciate uncertainty, we need to have basic needs under control: health relationships, and a job or finances. Also, we need to manage how we spend our time. Findings show that the feeling a lack of time is a major happiness killer. This is especially true if you make a lot of money per hour at work—because you feel more pressure. You can manage your feeling that time is scarce by seeking out experiences of awe. For example, looking at images of whales, waterfalls, and nature—slows down perception of time, leading you to feel you have more of it. And activities that give you a sense of “flow,” in which you are challenged just enough to be fully engaged (but not too much where you want to give up)…adjust your sense of time and boost your happiness.

Taking Control of Yourself Will Bring You Greatest Happiness
But of all the ways to manage the desire for control, the one that has the greatest potential is to take control of yourself. Become self-aware of your strengths and how you can use them to cope with whatever comes along. Boost your happiness levels with activities we teach at MyHappyAvatar™. Knowing you have the tools in your own hands to increase your happiness no matter what life brings is the best way to start letting go of the need for control. And in turn you will boost your happiness further. Energize yourself emotionally and physically by eating healthy foods, moving whenever you can, sleeping better, and supporting your important relationships. We can’t control other people or situations, but we can be responsible for our own well-being.